Testimonies
Testimonials from Polly's Place...
"I thank God for Polly's Place. I didn't think I need to be here, but I'm glad I came. I learned how to form better relationships so I won't be abused again." -- 18-year-old
"I have always had this sinking feeling in my gut that I was too broken to be fixed...but now for the first time ever, I have the most incredible rush that everything is going to be okay and I am fixable. I don't know how to tell you what this means to me. There is now way to begin to tell you how grateful I am for all that you and the staff have done for me this last month. I keep saying that this is God's house.... I have had more therapy than all the people in the lower peninsula (smile) and it never worked before. But I never any in God's name administered by his family, and guess what? That was the missing piece because I am getting fixed." -- Donna
"Polly's Place has to work. I'm glad I came -- I wish more pastor's wives would come and get the help they need." -- Danielle
"Before I came to Polly's Place, I thought I was nothing. But now I know I am somebody, and other people love me. I am learning how to love myself and am thankful to be alive." -- Carla
Testimonials from Polly's Place, Niles, MI...
"When I came to Polly's Place I was numb and feeling hopeless. I did not want to live. My husband of 12 years had held me prisoner in our home since our marriage. He owned 41 guns and told me that he would kille me if I tried to leave him. One day he gave me a loaded gun and told me to kill myself. As I looked at the gun, I was tempted to end it all. But I thought of my family and God. I felt trapped. I could not go anywhere without his permission or his presence. He would force me to take medication that kept me drugged most of the time. He forced me to do some horrible things that still haunt me. One evening I received a phone call from my "best friend." She informed me that she was having an affair wtih my husband. When I confronted him he got angry and began beating me. I ran away and locked myself in our bedroom, but he forced the door open. I hid under the bed. He grabbed me and began choking me. I reached up and grabbed whatever I could to stop his assault. Suddenly he yelled out in pain. I had grabbbed his private parts and blood was gushing everywhere. When I realized what I had done I called 911. The police came to our home and arrested me. I was placed in a padded cell because I wanted to commit suicide. I was allowed to make one phone call so I called my daughter. She drove hundreds of miles to get me and suggested that I go to Polly's Place for three weeks. It has saved my life. I am learning how to take care of myself. What a joy to live without abuse! I know that there are many women out there who need to go to Polly's Place. I hope that they get the opportunity. I still have a long way to go in my healing, but I praise God that I am still alive!" -- S.J.
"Every Sabbath I had to attend the same Sabbath School as my rapist. I went to Polly's Place after my pastor found out about my life and he encouraged me to get some help. I stayed at Polly's Place for two weks, but decided that I should stay for a month after I realized that I had issues from my childhood that made me vulnerable. I learned new skills regarding how to be more assertive. One week after leaving Polly's Place I decided that I would go to church and face my perpetrator. The staff at Polly's Place told me to dress nicely, walk with my head high and if Isaw him, look him straight in the face. I did just that. When he saw me he felt so ashamed he walked out of the church. It was obvious that he could not face me. Even though I am still in recovery, I rejoice that I am no longer afraid of him. After exploring my issues and telling my daughter about my experience at Polly's Place, she informed me that she had been molested but was afraid to tell me. We both went back to Polly's Place to learn how to support each other. I thank God that Polly's Place was in existence. I wish the entire Adventist church would support this program. There are many women out there who need this." -- P.P.
"I drove 14 hours to come to Polly's Place. I am a Seventh-day Adventist pastor's wife who suffered through physical and emotional abuse by my husband of 11 years. I went to Polly's Place because I did not want to expose my husband. I was afraid that he would lose his job if the conference found out about his abusive nature. Then what would happen to me and our two childen if he lost his job? After staying at Polly's Place I realized that I had certain rights, that I do not need to protect my husband, that he needs to take responsibility for himself. I am determined not to let him abuse me anymore. For the first time in my life, I had the strength to say "no" to his unreasonable demands." -- C.J.
Note: A few days after C.J. returned home, her husband called me and appeared to be upset becase his wife was so assertive. He wanted to know what I had done to her. I told him that our role at Polly's Place is to empower women to make positive decisions for themselves and their families. He then thanked me for helping his wife because after she talked with him he realized that he was responsible for his behavior and should not have abused her. He said that he was going to attend a men's program for batterers. -- Mable
"I have been to Polly's Place twice and hope to go again with my three children. I was sexually molested as a child and did not have good role models for parents. When I got married I thought that I shoud obey my husband in everything. When my six year old daughter began exhibiting "acting out" behaviors, a church member told me that I should contact Polly's Place and get counseling for her. I did not want to go to a secular counselor, so I contacted Dr. Dunbar. After talking with her for a few minutes about my daughter, she asked me if it was possible that my daughter had been molested. My husband and I said absolutely not. Dr. Dunbar told us to check it out and get my child to a doctor. Imagine my horror when I found out that she had been molested! I was angry and in shock. How could this happen? Was the abuser my husband, his father, my brother? I was so distraught that Dr. Dunbar suggested that I take a few days off and come to Polly's Place. During group counseling I realized that my relationship with my husband was not healthy because he was rewarding me with money or clothing each time I had sex with him. My husband is not a bad person, but he did not realize that this kind of behavior was inappropriate. We decided to get marital counseling. We are still dealing with many issues, but our relationship is improving. I discovered that my daughter's abuser was a class mate of hers. I have tried to talk to the principal and the pastor so that we can talk to the boy. But they told me that I should be careful not to confront him. The pastor told me that I did not need to go to Polly's Place, that I should pray and ask God to help me. He also said that he could counsel me, if I paid him. I am angry at him for minimizing what has happened to my daughter. Another pastor did not want to talk about the problem. I am very disappointed as to how unprepared S.D.A pastors are when it comes to helping people who are dealing with abuse issues. I am glad to know Polly's Place exists. We really need this place. It has been a blessing to my whole family." -- J.K.
"Karen came to Polly's Place because her husband was becoming violent. She managed to stash a dollar or two at a time until she save enough for a bus ticket. She slipped away while he was at work. She arrived at Polly's Place tired, frightened, penniless. After two weeks of counseling she called her husband to let him know where she was staying. He begged her to come home. She said no and insisted that before she would consider returning home, he would have to get counseling. He agreed to make the nine hour trip. He set up temporary shelter in a local inn close to Polly's Place and saw a counselor every day for two weeks. During this time he came to recognize that his abusive behavior originated in childhood and had contributed to his feelings of unworthiness, guilt, loneliness and shame. Karen saw a change in Jerry and she decided to go home with him. They are still struggling with issues of the past, but are seeking help and going for counseling. They made a commitment to each other and decided that if necessary, Karen was free to go back to Polly's Place if she felt that she needed to." -- M.D.
